Have you ever looked at a picture and couldn't believe that was you in it. You look so terrible and look a lot older than you want too. Well that happen to me. I saw this picture of me that was taken very recent and I couldn't believe that tired looking girl was me. I am definetly over weight and I just look horrible. I came to realize that if I looked like that in the picture then I definetly look like that every day. What happen to the 'lets go' attitude. As a mother do we just get in the same routine day in and day out and don't take time to look at ourselves? I could tell you my schedule right now and it hasn't changed in a long time. I won't bore you with the details...But why not change that. I do miss Florida because Payton and I would go outside everyday and I think that helped. I forgot what it was like to have a winter and be stuck in the house. It is not fun but that is life. What do you do to break up the infamous schedule and add some spice into your life. I hate how I look and have decided that I can change that and that is something that I will do after the boys go to sleep. Oh yes I started tonight I was able to go 20 minutes on the eliptical machine. To bad before I got pregnant with Payton I would do it for an hour three times a week.
So you can work on yourself and change what you put in your mouth. Yes I have done this whole thing before but I really think that working out is an outlet. I have been so stressed on whether Payton could start school and get the help he needs that I really was so fixed on that I forgot about everything else. That is working out and then I start to think about other things. Yes I am a worrier. Always have been and always will be I don't know if you can change that. They boys are getting older and I am so happy with my wonderful boys. They are truly a blessing and I think of how I can become a better mother and a more understanding one. What is the right way to mother a child? I know there is not a right way but what way is best for Payton and Braxton? Am I good wife? Am I the wife that Jeff thought I would be? Am I to demanding? The list could go on of the questions I ask everyday. Then I wonder how I can be a better person and how I can treat my body better. Putting ice cream or candy bars is not the right way but am I so in the habit or the routine of doing this that I will never be able to change this? Life is so complicated sometimes and I know that everyone asks themselves questions and strive to be the best at whatever they can be but do you ever wonder if you will find the answer or will there only be questions?
No comments:
Post a Comment